Your life if none of your business

That's something that was said quite often at the monastery.

I try to hear that when I get these moods that really destroy my zest for life. I really believe this is all hormone driven.

I've had the weird experience that the universe is always talking to us - that it is custom made for each and every one of us if we are paying attention. I ran into this thing at Costco today that just might be the solution to the problem of hormones. I don't know anything about the product, but there is was right in front of my face- some kind of natural mood, joint and something else solution. I am not much for taking any kind of drugs or daily supplements, but when something makes an appearance right before my eyes, I try to pay attention. So, maybe this is something I'm supposed to try - but does it have to cost me $40 right away? I figured out that it costs about 50 cents a day for this stuff. I suppose that's not too much to ask, is it?

So, what's with this idea that the universe is talking to us all the time? Well, to me it just seems as though there is a synchronicity to things, if I am paying attention. When I'm in the flow of things, things just appear. For instance, when I was in Miami Beach recently, I was walking along. I said something like, "gosh, I would sure like an ice cream." Lo and behold, there was an ice cream shop right there. I mean within 10 steps of where I was standing. It went like that all day. I needed a haircut and a salon magically appeared - one I could afford and where they had a seat available. I don't know why that happens. I am not into anything other than thinking that if I am "in the zone" and paying attention, everything I need will be right here before my very eyes. But, why is it so often that I cannot get into the flow of things?

Interesting. What's coming up is that the reason I am not in the flow is that I separate myself from life at those moments. When I am in the flow of life, then there is no separation. It's almost exactly as the book "Surfing the Himalayas" says. Getting into the flow of things means there is no separation. I never realized until now that that's probably how it works. Maybe that's the trick. But how does one maintain that connection or place of no separation? When I am in it, I have no idea how I got there and when I'm not, I have no idea why I'm not. I suppose I hardly even realize until well after the fact that I wasn't in the flow. It's easy to spot when I am not, however. Everything is a grind. Everything comes to a grinding halt in my life and I'm "totally out of synch." How many times have I heard that? "Out of synch."

Man, I can tell that I am itchy to leave town. I am itchy to go someplace and just breathe for awhile. I may need a Seattle "hit" one of these days. I think I need a little salt water hit. I don't even need an ocean hit - just a salt water hit. I need to smell the essence of life again. I recall when I was in Miami Beach that I felt like a salmon coming back home when I saw the ocean. I could feel my body almost quiver when I stood on the beach. I could hardly wait to get my feet into the water again. Interesting. Why can't I honor that and move toward the ocean? What is it -something like 80% of all people live near the coast in this country. Can they all be misguided? Maybe - maybe not. I think about all the time. Seems like such a small thing to fix. I could probably find a job somewhere near the coast if I really gave it a try. What keeps me stuck?

Nothing. Just fear.

Isn't that what keeps us all stuck? Fear.

'A whole 'nother discussion for later.