Losing Interest

I can tell that I am losing interest - interest in most of everything lately.

I can tell that everything is becoming a chore and that I am really bored with the way things are going. I'm ready to "phone it in," as they say, and forget the details. I'm not taking any photos, I'm bored with building a new web site, and I'm looking around for something really interesting to do. I've even had the thought that, just to spice things up, I should quit my job (there is nothing like the adrenaline rush of being out of work and having bills to pay) and move someplace exotic - or at least someplace with a beach. The only thing I can consistently think of that I like to do is go to the beach. I can sit at the beach all day, and then the next day and the next and never get bored. Now, I don't know if I HAD to sit at the beach every day whether or not I would say that but, for the most part, I am pretty content being at the beach and having something to read. I used to love going to the beach at Green Lake in Seattle and sitting for the whole day or going for a walk around the lake and then sitting and reading my Business Week or Wall Street Journal and taking in the whole atmosphere.

So, where does that leave me? Bored and ready for something new. I'm not particularly financially set to do something like this but then again, I have very little in the way of debt and very few things. I have somehow traveled pretty lightly on this earth, as they say. I don't much like accumulating things and, in fact, I would just asoon not own anything much except for my wheels and a computer. Anything else ties me down. I am a wandering spirit, that's for sure, and anything that keeps me in one place feels like a straight jacket.

So, what to do next? Somehow, thinking that I should just quit my job and move someplace warm has some appeal to me right now. Things aren't that good at home and it might just be time to bail. I have this crazy idea that I just want to live someplace where I can learn to surf and be outside more. I'm really tired of winter - T I R E D. It gets old to have to deal with slippery roads and winter clothes and all the rest. I'm really not a winter person anymore. So, maybe it's time to really take myself seriously for once and try to actually live out my own dreams! What a concept. I know that if I did that, everything else would fall into place. I just need the courage and the faith to know that what I am called to do is what I should be doing. Going with the flow... paying attention to what I am being called to do. Somehow, I never seem to heed those calls and I think that's where my depression comes from. Not taking myself seriously.

The question is - if I don't take myself seriously, who will?