Learned Something New Today

I've learned something new today. Or at least realized something along the way today.

I've learned that when you love someone, you have to be willing to love them inspite of the things you don't like about them. It would be easy to back out of a relationship and say, "well, I just can't deal with that", but it's those things that I have to learn to overlook because there are so many other things to like about the person to make it all worthwhile.

I suppose there are things you can't abide with - abuse and neglect, but for the most part, mostly it's just things that we don't like and can't seem to deal with.

Love is something that one has for someone else inspite of the things you don't like.

Isn't Teresa Heinz Kerry Just Sensational!

I have never been more impressed. I LOVED the speech that Teresa Heinz Kerry gave last night at the convention. I feel so energized by her honesty and integrity that I have to go out and work for the Democratic party in some way. She did speak from the heart, I believe, and in a way that gives me hope that there are people who really understand the issues that I care about in this election. I care that our reputation in the world has been tarnished. I care that women's voices have not been heard. I care that the environment is being trashed - that water is undrinkable and the air is unbreathable. I'm finally hearing that someone cares about the same things that I care about and it has been years since I have heard this message from anyone on Washington - anyone believable.  I know that she is not running for election. But she should. I would vote for her in a heartbeat. 

What an inspiring half hour.

After watching nearly every speech, I am totally jazzed about the possibilities that this election can be won by the Democrats. I believe that the Democrats can take back this country and have it once again move toward the center and be what it was meant to be.

I heard Robert Byrd's parting comments on Larry King last night. Totally freaked me out that GWB thinks he is not accountable to anyone - that he doesn't have to explain anything to anyone because he is the President. That's exactly the reason why he will lose in November. Anyone who believes that he is not accountable to the people will have a rude awakening come election time. The American public cannot be bullied nor fooled twice. People- even people who voted for Bush -  are beginning to wonder exactly what they voted for and with good reason. We may often be too busy working and raising families to give too much attention to politics and what goes on in Washington but when someone so blatently disregards the fact that he is a servant of the people, then PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION.

We do not want a theocracy here. We do not want ANYONE'S religious beliefs to be held above anyone else's. Freedom of religion means that the government is not partial to any religion in the nation - Christian or otherwise. That's what made America great. Everyone's religious beliefs ( or lack thereof) are honored and respected. If we lose the freedom of religion, we have lost everything.

I am, for the first time since the late 60's, excited about the election. I feel, like so many others, that this is really a turning point for our nation.  That we have to decide what kind of nation we really are this time. Are we going to head down the road of isolation and world domination or rejoin the world community to work on our collective problems together. Are we going to be part of the solution or part of the problem? Are we going with work with others or go it alone? So many issues are now world issues  that it is imperative that we join with the world community and be the world leader that we have been in the past -  to set the pace for advancement in issues of ecology, basic health and economic issues. 

This election will show the world (and us) what we are made of. Let's hope we still have the "right stuff."



  

 

All Dressed up and Nowhere to Go

Google
I bought another laptop - the same kind I had before. I'm not so sure that I'm going to keep it so I've decided not to put some of my programs on that require yet another call to the service centers to get an auth code. It's such a hassle to have to do this that I'm avoiding it at all cost right now until I decide for sure that I'm really going to keep this machine. That's the beauty of Costco - you get a chance to actually use something before you have to decide for sure that it's going to work out. I can't justify buying anywhere else anymore. I have an MBA so I know this is what they want - inelastic buying. I will almost always buy at Costco now unless they don't carry what I want. Enough of that stuff!

So, what am I doing here? I haven't written in months. I used to keep a web page up on Tripod but when my hard drive crashed and I lost the web site, I just didn't have the heart to try to rebuild the whole thing. I have copied all of the material from the site but I'm going to take it down and start over with this one. Much easier to use and less $$$. That's good.

I went to a show called "What the #$#@ do we know?" the other day. What a fascinating movie. I have read a lot of material on quantum physics lately and the book by Candice Pert called "Molecules of Emotion," but it's whole 'nother thing to hear these people speak and tell the story out loud. Somehow, my reading comprehension is not what my visual and auditory comprehension are so it filled in a lot of gaps for me to have seen the movie. Mostly what it confirms is what I have thought for a long time - we don't really know anything for sure. We think we know things but we really don't. We don't know who we are or why we are here. Sure, there are lots of books and lots of people who THINK they know the answers to these questions but nobody knows for sure. It is also quite interesting to discover that nothing is really "real" until we look at it... until we consciously look at something. It manifests when we look at it. If you are not looking - it doesn't exist. It keeps reminding me to try to see with "beginner's eyes."

So, what difference does this make in my life? How can I use this information? What can I make of this? Can I use it for my benefit? For everyone's benefit? How can I use this for everyone's benefit? How can I use the knowledge that when a piece of paper was taped to a glass full of water and then pictures were taken of the water, the water looked different under a microscope. If thoughts can do this, what are beneficial thoughts to have? What about the ones that creep in, like "you spineless piece of she..."? How does that affect me? How does that affect everyone around me? I don't know but just like the line in the movie... "it makes you wonder."

I did something entirely different today. I FINALLY watched the yoga tape today that I bought months ago. I finally did it. I looked totally ridiculous I suspect, but I did it. I felt totally lousy afterward. My stomach was doing flip flops for about an hour. I ate something and I felt better. I know that the focus on the stomach and the abdomen was crucial to this. I know that there is something going on in my guts right now. I'm putting on weight like crazy- something that doesn't happen to me so this is totally weird. It must have something to do with menopause. I don't know what yet, but it has something to do with that. I'm getting round and I don't care for it much.

So, the high and low of it is that I am wandering around these days without anything much to do and not liking it much. I have lost my focus lately and haven't been doing anything. I'm just wandering around being miserable. I know that some people would kill for my schedule. I only work weekend nights and Friday afternoon. That is a luxury that few people have. I keep thinking that I am so lucky to only have to work these hours but when I can't think of anything to do, it becomes a torture of sorts. I mean, if a person has a lot of free time but has nothing to fill that time, it is like being in a candy store without money. That is worse, in my opinion, than not knowing about the candy store at all. So, I'm struggling. I can't think of anything worth doing right now. I'm not too interested in taking photos anymore. I have thousands of photos of flowers - they are my favorites, but I've take about all I need to take right now. I just don't see the use in it. I don't see the use in much of anything. Sure, there is a slight high when I get something new - a new toy or whatever, but in the end the bottom falls out and I end up feeling once again like I am wandering around in a dark cave hitting my head on the ceiling as I try to feel my way out. I'm wandering around in a cave now and I just can't seem to find my way out. That's the ugly part of being alive right now because one part of me is scolding the other part of me for wasting all of this time. I'm wasting time and I know it but I don't know how to stop it. I think it has to do with getting connected with people but I don't know how to do that. I don't have the confidence that I really have anything to offer anyone and that I can control how much time I give to something. I don't have good boundaries. That's it. I don't have good boundaries. Boundaries. Saying no and saying yes.

I have to think about this for awhile. I think I'm on to something.

July 14, 2004

Nothing like finding out that your insurance isn't good for anything. I suppose if I had a major meltdown that things would be covered, but in this case they don't give a damn that something in the car was stolen. They only care that the car they are covering is ok - so they are coming out to check out that the car is ok - but to hell with the contents. Homeowners is supposed to cover that but who can afford the stuff? We have $1K deduct. That leaves about $500 to claim if I'm lucky. So much for insurance.

Being without a laptop is pretty weird.