Back from the trenches

I haven't written in awhile. I don't know how that happens. Time just flies... as they say.

I was on a 3 day silence retreat a couple of weeks ago, saw Deepak Chopra, and I have spent a week in California and Oregon since I last posted. I guess that's why I haven't written.

In any case, everything has been interesting to me lately. One of the most interesting things I have discovered is something that came out of the silence retreat.

I am especially sensitive to sound. Or at least I believe I am. One of the reasons I do not care to go to the lake is that the cabins are right long a very busy highway. The traffic noise is relentless. They are near a two lane highway where cars travel about 60 mph+- most of the day and into the evening hours. At midnight, a train goes by and shakes the whole cabin. The track is maybe 100 feet from the cabin. So, when I am there, a constant barrage of noise hits me and I am miserable... or am I?

I discovered this in the retreat - there is a process that happens with sound, or anything else really. First there is the sound. Then there is a label of the sound. Then there is a judgment of the sound and then there is the story that develops around the label and the judgment. Everything that happens after the sound is what causes the misery. The sound is neither here nor there really. It is the "rest of the story" that causes the trouble.

For instance, I was sitting in meditation. At one moment, I heard a bird chirping. Then I heard Max, the dog, whimpering because he did not like being put in the other house while we were in meditation (my interpretation) and then there was the traffic noise. So, I heard three things. One after another. And what distinguishes them? My interpretation of them. The "sound" was just a sound. It is nothing but a sound. But, my judgment and interpretation are what distinguish them and then I am miserable - or not. Why aren't I miserable when I hear a bird chirping? What story do I tell myself about a bird chirping that is different that the sound of traffic. They are both interrupting "silence," or so I tell myself. So what makes the difference?

My interpretation. My judgment. My story.

And that's what I've figured out happens with all perception. And that's why being in awareness without judgment or interpretation is the end of suffering. When one can be in awareness without judgment or interpretation, there is just awareness and experience. I don't know how to describe it but the best way to practice it is through meditation and through practicing awareness. Take a walk and walk with awareness without labeling anything. It is very interesting to do this. Walk and hear a bird but without labeling it "bird." Try it. Hear, see, feel things without labeling them. If there is no label, there is no interpretation or judgment. And without those things, there is pure awareness and experience. But no suffering.

Deepak Chopra. Tremendous speaker and presentation. His talk was so well crafted that it felt like I was in a dream when I left. I think we were all walking 100 feet off the ground when we left. Inspirational, informative, provocative. He integrated many of the ideas I have read about in such a way as to assemble the pages of a book in my mind. It's as though the pages of a book were all there and magically he put all of those pages in order. I was amazed. I have listened to his tapes from time to time but they always put me to sleep. In fact, I started to use them in the that fashion after awhile because I knew that they would put me to sleep. I never listened to the whole set. Now, after seeing him in person, I believe that I could listen to his tapes and stay awake. It had nothing to do with him, mind you, but with me and how ready I was to hear what he had to say. I guess I am ready now. Interesting how these things play out.

Traveling. Road trips. What a wonderful invention. I forgot how really wonderful it is to take a long drive in the car. Some people really dread long drives but I seem to rejoice in the freedom of driving long distances while listening to books on tape or just quietly driving along seeing everything along the way. What a great way to spend some time!

I listened to Ben Franklin and to a novel called The Blue Nowhere. Both are excellent. I especially liked Ben Franklin because it showed how a person who seeks to negotiate with the representatives of the extremes will oftentimes be able to bring them back to the center long enough to get to an agreement. We need such a person today. That may actually be Jimmy Carter, in my opinion. He is that kind of negotiator and has that kind of effect on situations. I wish he had more influence.

The Blue Nowhere was an eye-opener. I work in the computer industry so I knew a lot of what he was talking about but there were also many startling revelations in this book for me. I had no idea that so many things were possible with an adept programmer. It doesn't seem to bode well for the average user who is totally unaware of what is possible. Somehow it feels like we are caught between the internet being used for free expression of all ideas and total control of all ideas. I don't know how it will turn out but it feels like 1984 isn't that far away. It may be that the tool that we think gives us the ability to express ideas may actually be our undoing in the end.

Seeing friends and relatives is a wonderful way to spend time. I enjoyed seeing everyone and sharing ideas and my artwork. It is what I do best. I set up a new printer and installed a hard drive. That's the pleasure of knowing something about computers - being able to help people do what they want to be able to do with this new tool. Read online newspapers. Communicate through e-mail, etc. That's the tradeoff for all of the other issues occur in cyberspace - viruses, spam, phishing... . And isn't cyberspace just a reflection of all of humanity, afterall? It's just another stage for people to act out their lives on so why wouldn't it reflect all of humanity?

It can hardly be otherwise, eh?