Connection

I've been thinking about connection a lot lately and about the idea that when you die, nothing changes.

Connection to people - other people. Sometimes I think that some people have connections to other people and some people don't. I have this funny idea that somehow when a child is young that if they do not make the proper connections with parents and siblings, they just stay unconnected to people for the rest of their lives. It's as though there is an invisible cord that never gets attached to anyone else and you remain disconnected in a very subtle, but tangible way from everyone and everything else on the planet. I wonder about that that might be a blessing in disguise, however.

I have been reading "A Meditator's Diary" again. In one section, the author talks about the Abbot of the monastery where she is staying, as having compassionate detachment. I wonder if this is just compassionate detachment. I don't really foster any ill-will towards anyone. I simply do not connect with people the same way that others seem to. I don't seem to be affected that much by others or what they have to say. On the other hand, perhaps that is not the exact truth, now that I think about it.

Let's see - what happens. When someone does/says something that bugs me, I tend to shut down and just avoid them - disengage. I just drop my connection with them. It's as though when you have a connection with someone, you each hold the end of the wire, ( I've gone wireless, but for the sake of argument, let's assume there is a wire.) but at some point, I just drop my end of the connection. I don't give a lot of warning, I just drop it and totally disengage.

I guess I don't see any relationship as being THAT important to me that I would keep trying to hold on to the cord anymore. When things get tough, I let go. Interesting. I was told many years ago that I seem to take the easy way out. Is this just the easy way out or is this the detachment that the Buddhists speak of? Hard to tell. I suppose because I am questioning it, perhaps it is not detachment but avoidance.

Ummm.... I'll have to think on this one little more.